Oneway Exchange Students
by Naruto-Yohko
Summary: When Marth and Roy get run over a bus and end up in an American high school, it comes down to fangirl escapes, dangerous pizza missions, explosions, and evil student mobs and sinister faculty! JOIN THE HEROES OF FIRE EMBLEM IN THEIR ADVENTURE!
1. Chapter 1

**One-way exchange students**

**A Fire Emblem fanfic**

**About Fire Emblem: _Fire Emblem_** (Japanese: ファイアーエムブレム) is a popular strategy and role-playing video game franchise, developed by Intelligent Systems, and published by Nintendo. It is from the developers of Advance Wars, from the Nintendo Wars series (which shows in the gameplay, both games having almost the same gameplay). It was created by Shouzou Kaga, who later developed _Tear Ring Saga_. The _Fire Emblem_ franchise has graced the Famicom, Super Famicom, Game Boy Advance, and the Nintendo GameCube. It was confined to Japan until the seventh installment, which was released on the Game Boy Advance in North America in 2003. (wikipedia)

**About Marth:** He used to be the Prince of Aritia (aka Altea), however, he was eventually exiled from his continent of Akaneia. He was exiled to Talis after his father was killed, and his sister Ellis was taken hostage. As a direct desecndant of the legendary hero Anri, Marth had to use the divine sword Falchion in order to slay the dark dragon Medeus. He is the first character to be in the Lord class in the Fire Emblem series. He was also the only Lord to keep his position during two Fire Emblem games. After Marth slayed Medeus, Hardin betrayed him and seized Aritia. (wikipedia)

**About Roy:** His only appearance in the games has been in _Fire Emblem 6: The Sword of Seals_. His father is Eliwood, who is the hero of _Fire Emblem 7: Blazing Sword_, the first _Fire Emblem_ game to be released outside Japan as the Game Boy Advance game _Fire Emblem_ in the US. Roy begins as a "Lord" class and, near the end of _Fire Emblem 6: The Sword of Seals_, set out to defend their country against the invading country of _Bern_. Roy is also the only character that can wield the Sword of Seals. (wikipedia)

**_WARNING:_** No _one in this story is really as dense as they seem!_

**Intro:** Marth and Roy were on a pleasant trip to the United States for game and anime conventions when they fell asleep on the wrong tour bus. Awaking in a small town in Pennsylvania, they got kicked off the bus and left to fend for themselves. Now, they are on there way to who-knows-where.

**Chapter 1**

**The sword fighters from a distant land**

Marth and Roy were walking down the street when school bus #27 ran them over.

**Roy:** Marth, what the hell just happened?

**Marth:** I think that was a bus, num-nuts.

**Roy:** I knew that.

**Marth:** WHY DID IT HIT US!

**Roy:** No idea, why are we in the middle of the road in this foreign country of America?

**Marth:** I don't know but we better go to that school over there. Maybe they can help us somehow.

Marth and Roy strolled over to the high school known only to people as IVHS, the school of the dead…minded. They stopped at the front, took a deep breath and walked in the door and into the front office. There was a silence among the secretaries and students inside.

**Marth:** A bus from your school hit us and messed up my friend Roy's fiery haircut! What do you have to say for yourself!

The secretaries threw file folders and staplers at them until they ran out.

**Roy:** Damn it! Now what?

**Marth:** We obviously aren't welcome here so we must learn to fit in.

The next day…wait. You want to know where they slept over-night? Geez! Fine! They slept on the front lawn! Are you satisfied! Anyway, they decided to get sneaky as a way to infiltrate the school in order to let them in.

**Marth:** Okay dumb-ass, on my cue, we jump that freak over there wearing pajamas and listening to loud music and that guy with the "fashionable" pants.

Roy: Sure, I call the shorter one.

**Marth:** Alright. Let's go.

They jumped out of hiding and kicked the two dudes where it counted. Falling over, they dragged them behind the bushes outside the school doors and stole their clothing and hip electronic equipment.

**Roy:** 'Kay, now we look stupid.

**Marth:** Don't mind that, just go inside and start acting like high school students.

**Roy:** But we're royal swordsman! We don't know the way of the workplace, only the way of the warrior.

**Marth:** Stop quoting martial arts movies and hurry up!

**Roy: **Okay! Let's go!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**The strange new place**

The two of them ventured inside the strange new high school and walked into the gymnasium acting completely normal. Well, at least trying to. They sat down on the bleachers next to a short girl with glasses and short brown hair. She looked up at them slowly and almost screamed.

**Roy:** You think she knows us?

**Marth:** She couldn't have!

Just then, another girl walked in and sat down. She was a bit taller with longer dark brown hair and an Inu-yasha messenger bag. She didn't hold anything in.

"Oh my god! Marth? Roy? You? Here? Now? With me!" she tackled them and gave them big hugs. "My name is Tanya, and this is my friend Laura (points to shorter girl).

**Laura:** Amanda is going to freak when she sees Marth!

**Marth:** Who's Amanda?

Tanya and Laura looked at each other mischievously, but with a kind of pity and worry in whispering about the two new "students" that came in.

**Roy: **I can't stand being stared at.

**Marth:** It's okay Roy, your fine.

He shot a dirty, angry look back at Marth. Then, he stood up and withdrew his sword from its sheath.

**Laura:** What are you doing!

**Roy:** STOP STARING AT ME!

Sword held up straight above Roy, a giant flame shot through the ceiling and into the sky was now scorched black, a large hole in it.

**Tanya:** It's going to be cool if it rains during gym class.

Roy sat down, refreshed as the morning mist. What do you mean "what did the other kids think of the fire?" You sure ask dumb questions. They obviously aren't important characters in this story so why would they care? Then, Amanda came in. She was short too, like Laura. But, she had blonde and red hair and glasses like Laura too, but she wore a shirt that said "My cat can beat up your cat." She came over to where they were all sitting.

**Amanda:** Oooooooo!

**Tanya:** Uh oh…

**Amanda:** Oh my God! MARTH! MARTH! MARTH! MARTH! You're sexy!

**Laura:** Calm down!

She ran straight at Marth and jumped for him but he dodged her with his swiftness.

**Roy:** Run Marth run!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Intensity of the chase**

Marth was scared of Amanda so he ran down the hall, trying to escape.

**Roy:** Wait for me!

**Amanda:** Come back, Marthy!

She screamed at him as she chased him down the hallway. He swerved around a corner and came to the art room. Marth jumped into a cupboard and hid, while Roy ducked behind a table. Amanda came in after them, following by her trusty comrades, Tanya, Vic, and Laura.

**Laura:** Are they in here?

**Vic:** I don't think so.

But then Marth dropped a piece of pottery when he shifted; and all at once, the four girls turned and saw him.

**Girls:** THERE HE IS!

They scrambled after him.

**Marth:** Go away! I don't like you!

**Amanda:** But I do!

**Tanya:** We won't hurt you! At least, I won't…but Amanda might!

**Roy:** Hey Marth. This is pretty intense huh?

**Marth:** Where'd you come from?

**Roy:** (sarcastically) Your ass, Marth. Your ass.

(intense chase music)

They ran out of the art room and back into the hallways. Marth used his sword to smash open lockers to try and slow down Amanda and the rest of them. It didn't work; except for Tanya; she hit her head on one and fell down.

**Vic:** Tanya's down!

**Amanda:** Just keep going!

Marth and Roy were in the middle of a hot pursuit by Amanda and her posse, when Marth spotted a staircase at the end of the hall.

**Marth:** Let's go downstairs!

**Roy:** Okay!

(Roy unzipped his pants.)

**Marth:** Not like that, dude!

**Roy:** Oh...

**Tanya:** Let's cut them off over here!

Tanya points down a shortcut, which they take, and come out in front of the two escapees.

**Amanda:** Ah ha! We have you now!

She leapt for Marth's arms and caught one.

**Marth:** Let go, you psycho!

**Amanda:** NO!

She bit into his arm and he hollered in pain.. Laura ran up and grabbed his other arm. Tanya and Vic grabbed Roy's arms as they tried to squirm free, all in vain.

**Roy:** NO! Let us go! It can't end like this!

**Amanda:** Tie them up. Now!

The girls took the telephone cords from the office and tied Marth and Roy to the office doors.

**Marth:** Now what? What are you going to do with us? Did you hear me? What are you going to do!

Amanda just grinned, then laughed hysterically and simply answered his question.

**Amanda:** You.

Marth and Roy's eyes grew wide and a cold sweat dripped down their face. Amanda took Marth's phone cord and dragged him into the auditorium.

**Marth:** HELP!

**Roy:** I'm sorry, Marth.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**The compromise and the pizza**

The door slammed shut and the bang echoed down the empty halls. Tanya turned to Roy with a smile.

**Tanya:** I won't be _that_ mean to you, Roy.

**Roy:** Thanks. (Whew)

**Tanya:** If you don't want that to happen to you just like your blue-haired friend, I want you to get me a pizza. We're watching you, Roy. You have ten minutes. Laura and Vic commented with a sneer, almost as if they were evil villains in a fairy tale.

**Laura:** Yeah!

**Vic:** Yeah!

Tanya put a collar on Roy. It tracks his movements using some radio device.

**Vic:** If you leave the school, you DIE! Like this.

Vic holds up a drawing depicting a huge explosion and random remainders of Roy's existence flying through the air.

**Roy:** (T-T) Scary!

Roy ran down the hallway as fast as he could and located the cafeteria around the corner at the hall's junction. He needed pizza, but lots of students were eating lunch in there. Roy backed up against the wall and raised his fist.

**Roy:** I have ten minutes to be smart.

Turning around, he backed up into Marth.

**Roy:** Where'd you come from!

**Marth:** I escaped Amanda's torture.

FLASHBACK

**Marth:** HELP!

Amanda dragged him into the auditorium, only dimly lit by some stage lights left on.

**Amanda:** But no one will! You're mine!

**Marth:** I'm not ready for this kind of relationship….uh…we just met!

**Amanda:** Nice excuse.

**Marth:** Wait! Wouldn't this be more enjoyable with…uh…………pudding?

**Amanda:** huh?

**Marth:** Yeah! Good old sexy pudding makes everything better.

**Amanda:** Alright, I'll untie you. Go get some pudding, but hurry back my handsome prince!

**Marth:** Yeah, sure.

UNFLASHBACK

Marth notices Roy's collar.

**Marth:** Did that Tanya girl try to get kinky with you?

**Roy:** This is more of a dangerous bomb than a bondage accessory.

**Marth:** Not too much more, huh?

**Roy:** Okay. Enough! Let's get in line for pizza!

They step in the line of students getting lunch, only to be stared at by all them.

**Marth:** Uhh…we're from Japan. (v)

Everyone turned away, but Marth can hear whispers floating through the air. Roy's turn in line came up.

**Roy:** Can I get one slice of pizza?

**Lunch Lady: **Ooo! How old are you? You're quite the handsome young fella aren't you?

**Roy:** Uh… can I just have my pizza and go please, lady?

**Lunch Lady:** That will be $1.20 please.

**Marth:** We don't have any money, Roy! Did you forget? We didn't exactly plan this.

**Lunch Lady:** Are you new students?

**Roy:** Let's go with that.

**Marth:** Were transfer students from "Fire Emblem High School".

**Lunch Lady:** Well I guess you deserve your first lunch for free.

**Roy:** Great! Thanks old lady!

**Lunch Lady:** Old lady!

Marth and Roy take off, as the lunch lady starts crying.

After retracing their steps down the hall, they arrived back in front of the auditorium to greet Tanya with her pizza and Amanda with another excuse about Marth's escape.

**Marth & Roy:** We have the pizza!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**It's time for Health!**

**Tanya:** Ooo!

She snapped it up.

**Tanya:** Good job, Roy. I'll remove your collar.

**Roy:** Really?

Amanda walked out of the auditorium.

**Tanya:** Ask her.

Roy looks expectantly at Amanda.

**Amanda:** No.

**Roy:** Aww… (--v)

Amanda pulled a collar out of her pocket and forced it on Marth. He's got a collar now too! It seems the girls wouldn't let them leave the school. What now!

With the forceful actions and persuasive voices of four high school girls, Marth and Roy joined them for Health class.

**Marth:** So…..what's this?

**Roy:** I've never seen such a room before.

The six of them all walked into the room for Health class. They seemed to have come early, for the class was still empty.

**Amanda:** its health, idiots. Where you learn about health-related stuff.

**Laura:** Like vegetables!

**Vic:** Heart disease!

**Tanya:** and STDs!

**Roy:** Wow. Sounds pretty interesting, huh, Marth?

**Marth:** Hmph. You've got to be joking, flame-head. I'm not interested in internal organs or diseases or stuff like that. I could care less about what falls out of the belly of my enemy while I'm slashing him!

Roy grabbed his sword and swung it around like a baseball bat, slicing open Marth and causing spillage of his guts.

**Marth: **Ahh! How dare you! AH! Somebody pick up my spleen!

**Amanda:** Nooo! Poor Marth! My Marthy!

Students who were unlucky enough to stroll on in ran around the class and screamed.

**Laura:** We have to do what we learned to do in an emergency situation.

**Vic:** Everyone listen to Laura, she's the smartest.

**Tanya:** Shove his organs back in! Here's some safety pins! Close him up! Hurry!

The small room started quickly flooding with blood and desks and random kids were getting swept out the door.

**Amanda:** His intestine keeps sliding out this hole!

There was a long pause, followed by a huge "EEEWWW!"

**Laura:** You're not doing it properly!

**Marth:** Aaah!

**Vic:** Aaah!

**Tanya:** Aaah!

**Amanda:** Aaah!

Roy was sleeping through all this.

**Laura:** It stopped!

**Tanya:** Okay the pins should hold it in.

**Marth:** See what happens when dumb-asses be dumb-asses?

Marth gave a huge slap across Roy's face.

**Roy:** Oww! That hurt.

Now that the room was flooded out, it was time to practice resuscitation; mouth to mouth style!

**Amanda:** I call Marth!

**Marth:** Aaah!


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Revenge is an explosion!**

Amanda chased Marth right out of there at mach speed.

**Marth: **Well I'm glad were leaving Health class.

**Roy: **I am too. It was too violent in there.

**Amanda:** Hey Marth, we're going to Science.

**Tanya:** That's great. Not really. I want to go to bed.

**Laura:** I like science!

**Vic:** Me too!

Everyone came into science class and sat down in their desks.

Science Teacher: Okay, today we are mixing very dangerous chemicals, and I ran out of goggles and safety gloves so wear these highly flammable replacements.

**Vic:** Roy, do you need help putting on the gloves?

**Tanya:** GRAAARR! That's _my_ job!

**Vic:** NO!

**Tanya:** MINE!

**Vic:** FINE! I don't even like Roy!

The class and the teacher stared awkwardly at the quarrel in the back of the room. Roy's eyes glittered with the sign of tears. He ran out of the room, his face in his palms.

**Tanya:** Oh poor Roy…you hurt his feelings!

**Marth:** The only place he has feelings is in his pants.

**Class:** OooOOooh! JER-RY! JER-RY!

**Vic:** Okay, just everyone calm down.

**Science Teacher:** Get out the following chemicals. We will be mixing these…

Everyone was trying to get the right combination.

**Marth:** Mine's not working out right.

**Amanda:** Add this red stuff.

POOF!

**Roy:** Hey I'm back!

**Tanya:** Roy!

**Marth:** Oh, how wonderful…

Amanda nudged a chair over by her table but tried not to make it too obvious.

**Amanda:** Roy, come help me with this.

**Roy:** Okay La la la la la la la…

His foot caught the chair leg and he tripped.

**Roy:** Ahh!

Roy fell on Marth's table and his experiment erupted in a cloud of red smoke. BOOM! The explosion caught Roy and set him on fire.

**Roy: **Put it out! Put it out!

Amanda leaned smugly against the desk, smirking.

**Amanda:** That's what you get for hurting Marth!

**Tanya:** No!

Tanya grabbed the fire blanket and tackled Roy with it. She flipped around to shoot a look at Amanda.

**Laura:** Okay, let's not fight.

**Vic:** Revenge is sweet.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Salty cravings cause havoc!**

Marth and Roy were getting used to being at this strange new school, besides the fact that they were outcasted and chased by frothing fans.

**Marth:** Okay! Now that the disaster in Science is over, I can finally get a break.

**Roy:** No! It's time for food!

Roy walked into the cafeteria, stole the pretzel rack, and ran.

**Roy:** Noo! My pretzels! Stay back!

As the students angrily chased him, Roy chucked a pretzel back and hit a kid in the face.

**Some kid:** Aaah! Salt in my eyes! Get it out!

**Amanda:** Roy, you purple stupid pervert!

A giant mob came down the hallway after Roy brandishing sharp forks and poisonous hot dogs.

**Tanya:** Holy crap! Roy look what you've done!

**Marth:** Grr.. Come on!

Roy and the girls followed Marth away from the cafeteria mob. They stopped to catch their breath at the central point of the schools passages.

**Laura:** Let's tell the higher-ups about this outrage.

**Vic:** Yeah, we better.

**Tanya:** You mean the people in room 206?

Puzzled looks were spread across everyone's faces like cheese on crackers. Tanya pointed up.

**Vic:** Not in _that_ way, Tanya.

**Amanda:** You're almost as idiotic as Roy!

**Marth:** Shut up! Follow me or get mobbed!

They all arrived at the main office and slammed open the door. Roy was trying to catch his breath.

**Roy:** GIANT MOB… CHASING…. US!

All he received was evil glares.

**Secretary:** You!

Marth and Roy backed up, worried intensely.

**Secretary:** You're the new students causing all this chaos, calamity, carnage, and…cheese!

**Everyone:** What the hell?

The secretaries rolled onto the floor happily nibbling little chunks of cheese.

**Laura:** These secretaries are just like the common field mouse.

**Tanya:** I always knew you were smarter than us!

**Vic:** Definitely smarter than you, Tanya.

**Tanya: **Hey! I'm intelyjunt!


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Here comes the boss**

Marth and Roy thought they had the school's violent haters of them under control. Until the principal crashed through the glass door carrying a large shot gun.

**Principal:** It's time to die, kiddies! Muahahaha!

**Amanda:** Holy crap!

**Vic:** What's goin' on!

**Marth:** That's insane!

**Principal:** If you two noobs want to stay here at IVHS. You'll have to fight _me_!

**Roy:** (v) How convenient Mr. Principal, we were just here because one of your buses ran us over and we'll be on our way back to where we came from now.

Marth grabbed Roy's cape to stop him from leaving.

**Roy:** Hey! What's up? Let's split while we can!

Marth confidently chuckled.

**Marth:** Are you backing down from a fight, wimp?

**Roy:** No…

**Marth:** Ha! Let's take this guy.

Both of them drew their swords.

**Tanya:** This is no time to draw! Save it for art class!

Vic smacked Tanya's head.

**Vic:** Enough with the puns.

**Principal:** FOOLS!

He pulled the shotgun trigger and erasers and staples flew out.

**Laura:** Look out!

**Marth: **Aaaarrgh!

Marth leapt up and deflected the shots with the side of his sword, then both of them charged the principal head on.

**Principal:** You think I'm that stupid!

**Marth:** heh...

In a split second, Roy rolled over behind the principal. SLASH! He falls down on his knees, shaking, and then WHAM! On the floor.

**Princpal:** You… won?...

All the girls cheer for their swordsman heroes.

**All:** Hurray!

**Amanda:** Marth is the best. (giggle)

**Marth:** I know.

He shot a smirk at Roy.

**Roy:** Hey at least I'm good for exterminating evil guys.

**Laura:** Is it bad you killed our principal, deprived students of pretzels, drowned people in blood, and permanently scarred the rest of the school's population.

**Vic:** …Naw.

Tanya grabbed Roy's leg and snuggled it.

**Tanya:** I'll give you $20 to make out with Marth right now.

Marth and Roy just stared down at her in complete embarrassment.

**Marth:** Twenty bucks, you say?


End file.
